Journal

Feeling like a baby – unexplained dreams

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  • Floating like a balloon : I’m in a room, weightless and floating just as an astronaut does in space. I go up like a balloon horizontally facing downwards and as my back touches the ceiling, I rotate back and come down, just as a baby does inside the womb.
  • Through the canal : I’m struggling, my way out or in (I don’t really understand) a large pipe or a canal like structure. It isn’t stiff and hard but is fleshy as if you are being swallowed by an anaconda. It’s difficult to breathe and it seems that I’ll die of suffocation. I’m lying down and crawling, one or two other people following me. It is just like an army training  (in fact tougher!). I feel that the baby born normally would’ve had a similar experience during labour. Although no one obviously remembers how it was. But I don’t understand why I should have such a dream, because I was a caesarean baby.
  • Falling from a height : I’m on a roof and walking. Suddenly it ends and before I realise I reach its edge and almost fall off. The dream gets over there because just as I’m going to fall, I kick into the air in reality  ( again as a baby does inside the womb) and I’m awoken by the jerk of my own kick. This also happens when I dream of descending a staircase or anything involving body’s descending motion.
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My favorite place at home

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I like to see the flights taking off. I imagine the people inside them and the reasons for their travels. I try to remember my own past journeys, how i used to get bored and hate it. I used to like listening to the safety instructions even though I had almost got them by heart. Now since I travel less, I like imagining my future travels, hoping that I would travel for work rather than for vacationing.

I imagine the life of the workers in the air ports. I never feel awkward staring at the hostesses, they are so neatly dressed. I even imagine their uniforms.

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Sitting on the canopy, I like watching people on road. I feel like being at the top of the world. People normally don’t see upwards so rarely notice me, but I notice them all. I can sit, stand and walk the way I want, even if I’m not inside four walls. That feeling is great!

But the thing I like doing the most is observing the birds. I normally go there during the dusk. So I see birds returning to their nests…silent, unlike during the morning, less chirpy. I try to guess how they feel like when they see the aeroplanes, jets and helicopters. Do they feel jealous because they themselves fly not so high as them? Or do they feel inspired? Do they think its some different kind of bird or are they intelligent enough to understand human intelligence and that humans have built them?

I try communicating with them. I have learnt in Wicca that more you can communicate with nature and its creatures, the more spiritual you are. Animals and birds won’t harm you or get scared of you. I keep testing myself on that. I love every kind of bird- even crows which is not liked by many.

I observe and contemplate. When I see a group of birds I try to find what’s going on in their minds-if they are playing any game. Sometimes it feels that two pals are wishing goodbyes to each other as they split into different directions. While sometimes when I see a couple flying, I visualize, even after they are out of sight, how they’ll reach their nest and feed the young birds or see their unhatched eggs or make love!

Home stay different this time

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I encountered a minor accident and injured my ass.  🙈
Good thing is, it could’ve been worse but I was lucky.😀

I am enjoying the extra attention that I’ve been receiving since then. 😜
Why am I so happy about the extra attention from my family which normally annoys me? It’s because of the way they are doing it!

So it happened during morning hours. After rushing to the hospital and getting the x-ray done (saw the structure of my hip bones and pelvis for the first time. I never believed that skeletal structure can ever be sexy before this!😂) medicines prescribed, I realised that my uncles had reached the hospital too ( Ok. They are overprotective 😑 but you know, I was upset with them the earlier day because of some reason and THIS made me happy. Really happy!) After we reached home, maa, who was by the way, in control of the situation the whole time, freaked out at last. She was scolding the whole family except me 😂. I am the one who gets scolded for everything normally, but wow…

The doctor told me not to sit or do anything “too actively”. Seems like he is telling me to stick to my instincts😂. I am either to stand or lay down. Offcourse I prefer the latter position for obvious reasons 😂. I have been given the divan bed in my parents room (which is my favourite place because it’s along the window that faces the garden) because it is hard. So yeah! I am having a great time!

Papa is out of station for work and we hadn’t told him about it. I talked to him on phone after maa told him. I must tell you, he is damn cute when he tries to act like he is angry on me 😂. Well he did try to scold me for being careless but couldn’t. I had a hard time not laughing at his cuteness. Had he been here, I would’ve hugged him tightly and kissed him.

My cousins told that they’ll visit us tomorrow. So one more reason for me to enjoy the situation. We were meeting on Sunday for a family function. But now my crazy cousins who prefer to take me to their house rather than staying at mine always, are telling me they’ll visit me. Cool. I had promised myself not to meet them before Sunday because I was angry on them too over an argument about will visit whom.

So apart from the medicines and the pain, this vacation is going quite well for me😂. I will honestly miss my morning yoga though. I won’t be regretful for not studying (I can’t study laying on bed right? 😛 but I can surely write 😁). If it was to happen, I am glad it happened at home. I cringe at the idea of going back to hostel and sitting for exams 😢. Well anyways, being sick can be really good sometimes 😛.